When we teach kids in our Growing Gorillas program how to coach, we teach them that it’s best to coach your athlete on what to DO instead of what NOT to do. Do’s not Don’ts.
Better to tell an athlete in the heat of a battle to “Change levels and shoot” or “Get your grips”. Rather than, “Take her down!” Instructions should be productive and easy to understand. Speak loud and clear.
Easy enough.
But, is that how we coach as parents?
Stop hitting your sister!
Don’t touch that!
No whining!
The truth is, no. In parenting we tend to only tell our children what NOT to do instead of what to DO.
Use your words to talk to your sister.
You can look with your eyes.
Please use Robot Voice so I can understand what you want.
Rather than telling them what not to do, shouldn’t we help them learn the best options to choose in these tough situations?
Kids learn by example, so set a clear and objective standard for them. He wants a cookie? A clearly spoken request will likely get a gracious result.
Fast forward to adulthood.
She wants a raise? A clearly spoken request will likely get a gracious result.